If I'm honest this bothers me more than it should. I have a lisp that will sometimes manifest itself under times of extreme stress. I had an exam for my Interpreting class and got my grade back this weekend. One of the feedbacks I got was that sometimes my speech was unclear. This was after I explained what probably happened in my analysis. I can pinpoint exactly where my speech was unclear because I could hear my lisp.
To be clear, I got a 57 on the test and now have a failing grade in the class. We have 3 tests that are weighted very heavily. Most of my failing grade is because of production and not because of information missed. I got 80-90% of the information but my production wasn't the best. I spoke to fast and my lisp returned with a vengeance.
I saw this grade this morning right before my ASL class. I was completely off, so much so that even the people I didn't know that well noticed. My teacher was also unusually gentle with me. I was extremely fragile at that moment. If she had been unkind I probably would've burst into tears. I also haven't felt well in almost a week.
So, today I called off work and my final class of the day. I went back to my grandfather's house, climbed into bed, and slept for 7 hours. I allowed my depression to take control momentarily and slept like the dead. My stomach is still achy, but my emotions are in slightly better shape than they were earlier.
I also met with my advisor today and discussed a leave of absence. With my stomach issues and continuing medical problems, it may end up being a necessity. I'm just hoping I can even finish school. I've spent too long getting to this point and don't want to fail now.
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