Why I'm considering a different major

I started questioning if I wanted to be an interpreter this year. I have been in my classes and struggled with them since I got here. I have noticed an early burn out in myself and I am not sure I can handle this major as it stands. Here are some reasons why:

1. I am an introvert and this program chews us up and spits us out.
2. I've been struggling with my mental health since the second semester of my first year when I was sexually harassed. Then I was in a toxic situation with a roommate the next semester that sent me in a downward spiral that I've been struggling to get out of since.
3. I only ever wanted communication. I never wanted anything more than that. Interpreting was other people's dream for me. I convinced myself it was my own.
4. I can still work with Deaf people, I just am not sure this major is right for me.
5. I can't afford college.

The ones that have affected me the most are numbers 1, 2, and 3. The last two are important, but not as important as the first three. The hardest part about this will be telling my dad. My dad is my hero, I respect him. But the problem is, he tends to take things too personally. So, I already told my mom. She supports me in whatever I do. I am writing a letter to my dad because that's easier for him to read through. Sometimes certain tones or looks makes him feel challenged even though that's not what my intent is. Letters are easier and less intimidating.

I know I'm about to be the biggest disappointment there is. But I guess my therapist can hear all about it while I'm still here. 

Sexual Harrassment talks: Why are they necessary?

TW: Sexual Harassment, Rape, suicide

When arriving on my campus, I noticed that there were a lot more men than woman. I wasn't too worried at first, I grew up with men. I always got along better with guys, and orientation was no exception. Looking back on orientation now, there was one orientation leader who was way too friendly. So much so that my orientation leader wouldn't leave me alone with him. Not that I wanted to be near him anyway, he was acting very unusual.

My second semester I started a dance class. It all went well, there was this one guy who was super attentive and flirty. At first, I was flattered and amused. Flirting is hilarious to me, so I would laugh. Did you know that can be taken as flirting back? I was unaware. He also started to put his hands places where he shouldn't of. It wasn't necessary for the dance, which I only know because my teacher had to keep moving his hands.

The last day of classes was when it all came to a head. He came on hard, placed his hands places he shouldn't while making comments I did not feel comfortable with. It got to the point where I was afraid he might try and rape me. I had never felt that way about a man before, that he could and would hurt me. I did throw a punch, he dodged it and backed right off. After class he left like his pants were on fire.

To this day I am still bothered by it. I can't walk to my car at night anymore without my heart racing. What if he's there? What if I can't get away this time? When walking near the frats, I find myself walking a little faster with my eyes on the ground. Hoping that if he does happen to be there, he won't recognize me.

I was angry for days afterward. I couldn't get over it. I even wrote out a "note" and than deleted it from my computer.

My class recently had a sexual harassment talk. I think they are necessary, but why are we giving this presentation to the girls? I don't need to be told that it's wrong, I am well aware. I don't need to be reminded how to stay alert, I never stopped. We need to give these talks to our young men so these situations don't happen. And we need to teach them how to intervene if they see something happening.

Maybe everyone needs these talks, but I think the way we go about doing them is a bit off.